The art of crafting an opening message is complex. Anything more exciting than “Hey” or “How’s it going?” is an accomplishment.
But getting the conversation started isn’t even the hardest part anymore – it’s keeping the conversation going that’s dreaded. Forget chemistry, asking the right questions and saying the right things will determine whether a relationship will advance to an in-person date. Consequently, we decided to take a little survey to discover different conversation phase turnoffs.
In a survey, members of Lovebuzz, an up-and-coming free online dating site, were asked — “What are the biggest turn-offs during the talking phase?”
Quite varied responses poured in from all around. Here are the Top 9 responses:
1. Speaking too little!
Of the many participants in the survey, one of the most encountered turn-offs by online dating app users was shyness or having too little to speak. This issue was especially common amongst Indian audiences who are too nervous to speak their mind.
“A date is all about getting to know each other, which is pretty hard if I am talking to a brick wall.” – Jay
Shyness eludes you from meaningful conversions, just put yourself out there and see where it can take you.
2. Delayed replies!
In comparison to females, the problem of delayed replies is more prevalent among males. Quick replies give the impression you want to talk, but late replies show disinterest.
“Had I wished for a late reply, I would have mailed you a handwritten note! Agar 2-3 din baad hi reply karna hai toh ‘kabootar’ paal lo, why use a dating chat room?” – Rachit
Once in a while, a delayed response is acceptable. However, repeatedly delaying might lead to misunderstandings. You should rather give a tiny note on unavailability if the conversation is pending.
3. Lazy texts?
It is funny how chats have advanced into eating up vowels? Sadly, during the survey, a lot of girls complained about mails using encoded words that are not only annoying but at times gets difficult to understand.
“Texts enciphered as if they were en route to some secret mission, why? My school probably taught me wrong spellings where Wait became ‘W8’, You is ‘u’, Your is ‘ur’, Fine is ‘F9′, Okay/ok is ‘K’, How are you is ‘hru’, forget everything, I love you is ‘ilu’ and ‘love you too’ is ‘lu2’?” – Sohini
Honestly, even we don’t understand what would you do in the milliseconds you saved by eating the vowels? You do not only show poor communication skills, but also display a lackadaisical attitude.
4. Incapable of carrying on a full conversation?
One of many common issues that people considered as a turn-off by Indian dating app users is the incapability to speak. This indeed is a problem encountered by 87% of people on the app.
“People who constantly ask hru/wyd, again and again, quickly lose my interest.” – Riddhi
Introducing LoveBuzz Chat Rooms, which allows you to slip into conversations easily. Lovebuzz, an Indian dating app, gives you something to talk about at all times, so you will never feel awkward. How cool is that?
5. Mind games? you ask.
A few users have reported that people who say mindful words always as an unwelcome turn-off.
“My boyfriend made me laugh with his openness to talking to me, regardless of how often he texted or called me. I say, just put yourself out there!” – Suruchi
Being sweet is one thing! But all sugar is bad sugar!
A conversation can be weakened if someone evaluates who spoke first or how many messages were sent. Likewise, if you always try to make an impression and remain pretentious might lead you nowhere. Being yourself is the key to finding your soulmate!
6. Crying Baby!
The users complained about how people started crying rivers, expecting endless sympathy. Even funnier is the fact that they think it will strengthen their relationship.
“A Sad Boi, draking over problems every time possible is certainly a turn-off. You should rather find a counsellor!” – Mands
A few glimpses into your issues later in conversation may be acceptable. Don’t be an all-cry baby! In fact, to build a healthy relationship that grows into something — keep the fun alive!
No matter how obvious the danger of boredom is, many people boast incessantly about themselves.
‘I totaled a brand new luxury car. Horse-riding is another skill I possess. My family loves to host parties. And well my sister! She is married and settled in Los Angeles.’ “Is this guy real?” – Asmi
It’s a no-brainer! We are only covering the basics here. We don’t doubt your ability or calibre. However, try to be less showy and more interactive. I mean, ‘Horse-riding is another skill I possess.’ can become, ‘I love horse-riding. What are your hobbies? Easy, isn’t it?
Surprisingly, we have received this problem more from males than females. They said, even though working from home, they do have meetings to attend and work to do.
“Despite not responding to their texts, they keep messaging you. Does it seem difficult for them to understand that I have a life outside of dating apps as well?” – Devansh
Yet another, no brainer! Restlessness can be extremely frustrating. It’s understandable that you are concerned when someone is online and avoids you on purpose by not responding for days. But expecting a response right away is a no-no.
9. Online dates are not Debates!
Funny right? Well! We also laughed as we read users’ responses in the context. Interestingly, people who like to talk a lot about themselves also finish others’ sentences. This angers everyone!
|Me: ‘Today is ….’|
Me: ‘No, Today is …’
Him: ‘Oh wait, YOUR BIRTHDAY?’
Me: ‘Ergh! Today is a busy day! Let’s talk tomorrow?’
Instead of turning the conversation into a political debate and talking over each other, isn’t it better to think of the conversation like a relay race?
Is good communication enough?
Even if you meet someone with good communication skills, does this guarantee compatibility? Although a good conversation may keep a conversation going, it is hard to find a like-minded match in the sea of profiles.
‘LOVEBUZZ’ eases the process of finding a soulmate.
Lovebuzz, an online dating app in India, offers an exclusive service called “5 daily compatibility questions,” designed by our expert matchmakers, to determine if you’re compatible with someone. So you don’t have to waste your time reading long boring profiles, and grilling every person you meet until you get tired and compromise. Lovebuzz online dating app also respects your privacy concerns by only providing verified profiles and allowing you to change your picture into an avatar.
So, have fun dating with Lovebuzz, the best online dating app!